sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do vagina's smell?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
