umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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