Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We need to feng shui this bitch.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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