Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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