I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
