i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
