just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
