I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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