Christians are straight up FREAKS
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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