i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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