Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
