If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
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I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
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by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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