I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize