you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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