i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod