Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?