a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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