you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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