Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
