And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
