woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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