nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
accomplished twins. life is a go
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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