i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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