Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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