I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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