Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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