Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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