yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
