So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
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And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
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And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine