This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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