i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
