Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
