No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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