i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You may now shotgun with the bride
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
