You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
