You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
