Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize