still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
