its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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