Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
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I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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