if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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