hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
