You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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