I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
