If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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