JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
