We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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