singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
