Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
