I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
