whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
