Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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