The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
