So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
