oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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