glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
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Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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