Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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