you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
