It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
