I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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