white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
