Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
His nipple licking is glorious
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