I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
